Date Rape
by Twin Eclipse
Summary: NautoHinataGaara OOC, random, pointless but funny. Laugh, cry, say WTF! Just know that this is a crack fic with out the crack. I GET HIGH OFF AIR!
1. Chapter 1

Date Rape

Enjoy the randomness!!! **_Song lyrics in this print. Song: Date Rape by Sublime._** Or something like that…

"Hinata! Can we stop now? I'm really bored." Neji said

Hinata sighed and nodded.

"Well, what do you want to do?" She asked

"Let's go to the bar!" Neji said.

"I guess it's better than this…"

'**_Let me tell ya 'bout a girl I know. Had a drink about an hour ago. Sittin' in the corner, by herself. In a bar in downtown hell. She heard a noise and she looked to the door, and saw a man she'd never seen before. Light skin, light blue eyes. A double chin and a plastic smile…'_**

"Hey, who's that?" Hinata asked Neji.

"Hn? Oh that's Gaara." Neji said.

"I wouldn't get to close to him if I were you." Naruto said.

"Why do you care, Naruto-kun?" Hinata asked

"I… don't... I just…err..." Naruto stuttered.

Hinata walked off and sat at the bar. "Konoha Twister" She told the bartender. She watched Gaara from the corner of her eye.

'_**Well her heart raced as he walked through the door, and took an empty seat at the bar. "My brand new car is parked right out side, How'd you like to for a ride?" and she said "Wait a minute I have to think…."'**_

"Gaara-kun, you're soooo sweet!" Hinata giggled. Gaara grinned. "So, about us going for a…."

"Hinata! Can we talk?" Naruto asked. He grabbed her by the arm and dragged her off. "What do you thing you're doing?!" He demaned.

"Just havin' a little fun!" Hinata giggled.

"You're sooooooo sloshed!"

"Mehbe…." She winked

"So uh, listen, I'm sorry about what is said earlier. Maybe we could ditch this place and hang the rest of the night?"

"Nooooooo thankssssssssss….. Mehbey later…. By the way, how would you know if I was drinkin' or not?"

"You're not acting like yourself for one thing and I saw you."

"I'm fine, don't worry….!"

sigh "It's not you I'm worried about Hinata…"

'_**One drink turned into three or four and they up and got into his car, and they drove away some place real far…. "Now babe the time has come, how'd you like to have a little fun?" And she said, "If we could only please be on our way I would not run…." That's when things got out of control! She didn't want to, He had his way she said "Let's go" He said "NO way! Come on babe it's your lucky day. Shut your mouth, we're gonna do it my way. Come on baby don't be afraid, If it wasn't for date rape, I'd never get laid".' **_

"Where is Hinata?!?!" Naruto asked Sasuke.

"How would I know I'm not her keeper." Sasuke said annoyed

"Naruto man, just relax man, relax!" Shikamaru said, sloshed.

"Whatever…" Naruto grumbled and sat at the bar. "Chidori spike" he said

"Are you looking for that girl with the lavender eyes?" The bartender asked.

Naruto nodded, chugging the drink. "She left with the guy with the blood red hair and blue eyes, a little while back." Naruto spat his drink. "WHAT?!!!!!!"

'**_He finished up and started the car, and turned around and drove back to the bar. He said "Now baby don't be sad. In my opinion you weren't half bad"' _**

"Gaara! How could you?! thought you liked me! Hinata yelled.

"Pft. Yeah yeah. Keep dreaming." Gaara said getting in to his car. Hinata glared at him. **_'She picked up a rock, threw it at the car, hit him in the head now he's got a big scar. Come on party people; listen to me, date rape funny!'_**

"Oh, Hinata! There you are!" Naruto ran up to her and hugged her. She squeezed him tightly.

"Hey what's wrong? What happened?" Naruto asked

Hinata took a deep breath. " You don't even wanna know…" She said softly. Then she told him. Naruto stared at her, dumbfounded.

"Gaara is a dead man…" He growled.

"Naruto, don't do anything to him! I got myself in to this mess and I want to have so fun getting out of it. Just back me up, okay?"

"No problem, but what are you gonna do?"

"You'll see…."

'_**The next day, she went to her drawer, looked up her local attorney at law. Went to the phone and filed a police report. Then she took the guy's ass to court.'**_

Hinata and Gaara stood before Tsunade a few days later. Hinata calmly told her story.

"So in a nut shell, this guy got you drunk and raped you?" Tsunade asked. Hinata nodded.

"Well then Gaara, how does your sorry ass plead?"

_**The day he stood in front of the judge, he screamed "She lies, that little slut!!!" The judge knew he was full of shit, and she gave him 25 years, and now his heart is filled with tears…'**_

"25 years!!!" Tsunade said. "By then you'll learn how to keep you hands to yourself!"

"WHAT?!?!? ARE YOU KIDDING!!!!?" Gaara yelled.

"Nope, you screwed yourself in to a deep hole this time buddy boy!!!'

"HEY! Showers, now!" Gaara's guard yelled. Gaara had spent the last week in Konoha jail, and it wasn't pleasant. He stepped in to the closed showers with another freak under the guards watch. The guard closed and locked the door to the showers. (they do that in some jails) Gaara ignored the other guy and took his shower. The other guy couldn't have been much other than he was. But he sure looked weird with his bowl cut, bug eyes and fuzzy/thick eyebrows. Strangely enough the guy popped up behind him.

"Hey, bud. How it goes?" He asked in a chipper voice. Gaara whipped around.

"HOLY CRAP!!!!" he yelled running to the door. "LET ME OUTTA HERE!!!" he banged on the door.

"Nah, I don't think I will." The guard said, pulling off his mask. Naruto grinned at Gaara. Hinata stood next to him, twirling the keys on her finger and stuck her tongue at Gaara.

"AHHH!!!! NOOOOOOOO!!!!"

**_'one night in jail, it was getting late. He was butt rape by a large inmate. And he screamed, but the guards paid no attention to his cries. That's when things got out of control! The morel of the date rape story, it does not pay to be drunk and horny. But that's the way it has to be, they locked him up and threw away the key. But I can't take pity on men of his kind. Even though he now takes it in the behind….. DATE RAPE!!!'_**

"…. Is he…. ENJOYING IT?!" Naruto asked banging his head against a wall.

"We're just gonna turn around, walk out the door and pretend we didn't see that." Hinata said wide eyed. "Agreed!!!!" Naruto yelled running after her.

"So, Hianta now that Gaara's ass is in jail, now what?" Naruto asked

"I'm kinda hungry, RAMEN TIME!!!!" Hinata said happily.

"Yeah, that would be nice." Naruto said wrapping his arm around Hinata.

"What did we learn today, Naruto-kun?" Hinata asked.

"Never mess with the kick ass kunochi!"

"Damn straight!"

YUP random

YUP OOC

What are you gonna do about it?

You're gonna review it!!! Lunar


	2. Hello All

Hello All,

This is Solar here, and I'm sad to tell you that Lunar has left Fanfiction to join the many writers of Lpfiction . net, under the pen-name of **Hybrid Dragon **and is a slash writer there… so I've discontinued all of her stories, as seeing that she will not be posting anymore… So, please comment and try to bring her back and I will forward them to her… hopefully you can persuade her to return…

Good Luck,

Solar Eclipse


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